an ocean heart

conversations with night

in the embracing arms of night
my thoughts wander and my tongue loosens
if it is truth you want my faithful companion
here you have it
i admit that i am worried about the future
scared even
on the long run i do not know what i want
this moment is all i know and  that is not quite enough
yes i know your age is an infinite amount of years
and that my age can be counted in eighteen autumns only
but i tell you
if time keeps moving at this speed
the amount of autumns will be doubled in no time
tripled even
for losing track of time is a dear habit of mine
and becoming absorbed in stories is another
so i tell you what i am afraid of
i am afraid i might spend (waste?) years absorbed
in the worlds of books and films and video games
and someday suddenly lift my head
while reading yet another book
hearing the echoes of the past years
and realize
as i brush dust off of me
i have forgotten about my own story
i fear i am a doom-driven dreamer
and there is no way cure this
for it is not a disease
but a way of life
so now that i have told what has me worried
will you hold me ‘till morning night?