12/21/11
I have not written anything great for a long, long time. Oh, I can not
even describe what I mean. I don’t know. Maybe I need to start searching
for the words in places since I don’t anymore seem to find them inside
myself. Perhaps it is time to look for them in woods, downtown among
crowds, by the sea, somewhere new even. At the moment, I feel the pull
of the sea. Somehow I just need the sea right now. And I have this
feeling, a longing perhaps - for how I used to feel, how I used to be.
The lightness and happiness and magic of those times. I want it, I need
it. Perhaps… I can find it again. Oh, I don’t know. These grey winter
days seem to heavy and dark and lightness and happiness and magic seem
far away. Maybe it’s a matter of perspective though. It’s all there, I
just have look carefully. Hmm… Maybe, maybe…
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Though you can't even explain it, I think I know what you mean in your opening sentence. I feel that way a lot... As I wrote once, I just want to write something and feel that it is good.
ReplyDeleteLately I've been feeling I need some outward thing to inspire me, a place or person. But there's nowhere I can go, no one I can dream about. I would love to go to the sea too. *sigh*
Maybe this is twisted, but there's something to be said for dark and/or grey days. Even though they seem interminable, I sometimes miss them when I'm happy. I become less deep when the sun is shining all the time... (Hmm. That seems really sad now that I've put it into words.)